Old Blue Print, New Blue Print, Subby & ME!

So much of what I’ve read through the course of my life has lead me to here.

I’ve seen and experienced snippets of who I am to be, but just haven’t arrived as of yet.

Roller coaster is a term that could be used as it seems to be what I am on, emotionally. There is a war raging within. Old Blue is hanging on to what was always and has never been under any threat of real change. Old Blue is strong and stubborn. Miserable, cranky and full of tricks, but ME & subby got us a new blue and we’re in this thing for the duration. True change may be slow at first, but as we’ve experience those snippets, we have the knowledge and the memory of what it IS being a newer blue.

A small example that happened this week. I was wanting to edit a document that I had scanned from a hard copy on to a USB key or a stick as I like to call them. When I opened the document after downloading it to my laptop, I discovered that the doc. was a PDF. Without getting into the everything I tried and the people I asked for help, when I was informed that the doc. was scanned on a machine that did not have CRS, no, not can’t remember shit, but Character Recognition Software, I was relived and vindicated.  Vindicated because I was feeling that I was at fault and that I was incapable and so on and so on… So, when I became aware of CRS I googled CRS and voila, I was able and not at fault and edited the document. I learned that scanners with out CRS produce a picture of what is scanned.

phew.

I did learn something about me too. I learned that I am stubborn ( I’ve been told this, but…) and that ME & subby armed with new blue can be all that I am meant to be.

So can you.

Advertisements

Promise, or was I thinking out loud?

Oh my.

Did I really promise? Is it a promise if the words “I promise” are not said? Is the promise inferred? Is it that ‘you’ are wanting / hoping / needing me to do what it is that I said I would do?

Life gets in the way, A LOT! Oh my, if only, EVERYTHING that we all said, just said that we would do could, at the flick of a finger, just happen. That what the other people in our lives do wouldn’t / couldn’t interfere with our plans. And on that note, why do some people take such pleasure in the fouling of others plans or even if they don’t take the pleasure, why do they interfere? I mean really, don’t they have much better things to be doing with their time? Or are they just filling in the time they have on their hands because they too are waiting?

Waiting for the computer to load. Waiting for the kettle to boil. Waiting for the light to turn green so you can go. Waiting…

I’ve decided, I’m far more impatient with all that is outside of my control and extremely more patient with me.

If, and I do mean if, I promised to do something, it is a work in progress, meaning I AM working at fulfilling my promise. Life does get in the way, though. Computers crash, the unforeseen interruptions of the interference of others, the spirit is willing, but the body is full of pain that wasn’t there when the promise was made.

Or was it something that was said that was more of a hope & a wish than a promise?

I’m getting there…

Here I go, AGAIN! Week 8

Old blueprint or give more, get more? Last week my laptop of nine years, quit. Well, it took on a mind of it’s own. I was happily writing a blog, when unbeknownst to me 3 paragraphs went, *poof* gone! The next evening it took over 3 hours to write an email to my guide explaining to him the situation that I was in. Now, I fully accept that I am in the situation I am in because of me and my choices, but there are times that I’d truly love to put the blame on any one other than me.

So, because of where I am, it came to me that I should reformat this laptop rather than to try and buy another. Funds are limited and I have many other more pressing needs although an argument could be laid that a working laptop will help me to be a better me which will then help me to bring in more funds to me with which I could then fulfill those more pressing needs!

At the beginning of MKMMA, I had no idea of what I was signing up for. I was simply told that it was about cause and effect. That I am both cause and effect of my choices, my interest was piqued. At the same time I had also agreed to volunteer with the treasury department of my church. Little did I know how much time both activities would take of the little time I have left to call my own after working 40 hrs a week.

As I am a pleaser, meaning that I have the tendency to put the needs of others before my own, I spent more time at the church than I did on my reading or my sits or my anything else. Someone sure could use a dust rag and the vacuum in my apartment. I did however catch the meaning of what MKMMA is to mean to me and to all of us who are participating. I did manage to spend more time at the gym, as I have mentioned before, and I did manage to get ‘most’ of my tangible assignments completed.

I am very pleased that what I did do, in regard to reading and sits, have had wonderful results thus far for me. I’m feeling oh so much stronger because of my workouts. The level of pain that I experience has decreased dramatically. I am in need of both my knees being replaced as I have almost no cartilage in either.

There was a situation at work where I was able to put into practice scroll II. When I responded with love in my eyes and in my heart rather than the venom that was being spewed towards me and then further, when I declined to take up the opportunity to point out that this same person had made a mistake in the work performed, the effect on everyone of whom I work with, was noticeable. Needless to say, this too pleases me.

Which brings me back to where I started with this blog. When I had informed my guide that the laptop was going to make my getting my tangible assignments done, difficult, I was crestfallen. He was kind and understanding, but I was of mixed emotions of not being ‘able’ to blog and being prevented from responding to all of you who are on my blog roll. So, herein, I promise to get a response in to everyone who has a comment coming from me.

I always keep my promises.

Valerie J. Holmes

MKMMA Week Six

Here we are yet again. I’ve said before how I’ve read a number of blogs (or posts or is it both?) and how I can relate to each that I’ve read.

Chuck has a son that doesn’t get what Chuck writes. The son is missing out, oops opinion! Well, I get it AND I enjoy reading what you write Chuck.

Wendy, my goodness woman, YOU ROCK! I could never do what it is that you do for one simple reason and that is that I need more sleep than just a couple of hours a night. You inspire me though. I too am wanting to help others. I hope that I do.

JC, Jamie, Your latest blog has me knowing that all is not lost. There is hope, for us all.

Dr. Terrence G. Neraasen reads well, has the best looking blog site I’ve seen to date and reminds me of home. While I am currently in southern Ontario I ready to go home to Alberta. I’m curious to know where you and your son went looking for ducks.

Jennifer, you said it all when you said ” Whoa! wait a minute-I’m already full” in reference to how much can WE learn. I too am learning that we can learn still even more.

Course, then to Stephen, my guide. Thanks for all that you have helped me with.

You’ve all said is your own way, what Jen has said and I have too. There have been many times in the last 6 weeks that that old blueprint has wanted to NOT do what I’m doing now. I admit I’m not as caught up on all the reading that there is, BUT I am very proud and am beginning to feel the results of going to the gym, again, (Forrest Gump voice). YAY ME! lol

Kick that old blueprint to the curb!

Press Release (MKMMA)

” LOCAL BUSINESS WOMAN’S KEYS TO SUCCESS”

When I first met Valerie J. Holmes, I’m impressed at how success hasn’t changed her. She is calm and relaxed as we talk in the comfort of her home nestled in the foothills of our Alberta Rockies. One would not know the amount of money that she earns through her home based business of Healthy Chocolate by the home she shares with her life’s mate. Their home has a warm comforting unassuming air about it although has every amenity. Not unlike the woman who owns it.

Conversations with Valerie are, easy. She is a pleasure to hear speak. Through her warm comforting ways you learn how Healthy Chocolate eradicates free radicals from the body as it is the number one food source of antioxidants. You also learn how the compensation plan of Xocia, Healthy Chocolate enables anyone to earn exponential wealth. In her words, “Being healthy is a goal of  a lot of people I have met over my lifetime. I know it’s been one of mine for years! When I can put my attention on helping others obtain what I have brings me great pleasure. As I no longer have my attention on my health and now that of my income, I am able to spend my time as I please. And as I am a pleaser, helping others be healthy and wealthy is a great way to fill my days.” Valerie giggles as she offers me a piece of Xocia X-Power Square. It’s easy to see that she is very happy. She is a person that other people feel good by being around her. I know I do.

T. Ranstad

Edmonton Journal

5th Week of MKMMA

I strongly resemble the remark that was said during the MasterMind tonight that I know/knew just how everyone and everything should be, but yet I had/have a ways to go to be in my Ideal Scene!

Life is a journey not the destination. True, but holy… did I come around the long way. For most of my years, being the second oldest and the little mom, meaning that I was the mom when our mom wasn’t there, I was the one that my sisters and sometimes my brothers came to for the solution or the answer. It is no wonder then that I should be opinionated as I became an adult as I was still the one that others sought out for sound advise, a shoulder or an ear until I disconnected.

I was living that life of quiet desperation and JUST  couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted to change. I wanted to be better and to do more than I was, but I thought that I needed the others in my life to be on board with all that I wanted to be BEFORE I could make the first step. Good Gawd!  Call me a control freak. Or was it that thing of knowing what everyone else should be doing? I think there was a whole lot of that going on too.

That was then. Now, my journey has brought me to MKMMA and blogging. I live a life that isn’t exactly what I would call my ideal scene, but one thing for sure, I’m not telling others what it is that they should be doing. My life is closer to what it is that I’ve wanted it to be all those years ago. I’m happier for it too.

Most of those other folks… they’ll find their way. May be, I can be of help to them now that I couldn’t have been then. I think of it this way, I wouldn’t be here now if things had been different then.

Week Four MKMMA Style!

I’ve read some great blogs this last week. I read those who had written to me on what I’ve blogged. I had really wanted to have the time to answer everyone.

When I’ve posted this blog, I’ll send my yet again revised DMP to my guide and in this revised edition I am definitely going to include having the time to do the things that I WANT to do.

I’ve always had this feeling about me that I am meant for greatness, but what me idea if greatness is, not what anyone else has had in mind for me as to what they see as me being great.

I quit! I quit giving less than 100% BUT not to everyone else. I quit giving less than 100% to me! Since Friday when I rejoined “The Goodlife” gym, lol, I love saying that, I’ve rejoined the goodlife, I’ve worked out everyday. I’m sore, but it’s that good kind of sore that you feel when you have used your body in the way it wants to be used.

Week four hit home for me. I have not been living the life I want for years.

My PPN’s are true health and autonomy. Time to give 100%

How about you?